Thanks to Alert Reader Matt Martin who hails from somewhere in cyberspace, I found a lender who not only will write a mortgage on an unconventional home, but specializes in it. I knew there had to be one of ‘em out there somewhere! Northpointe Bank is in the fabulous state of Michigan, and is what is called a portfolio lender, which means it’s a bank just like the old-time banks which lend you their money, and never sell the loan to anyone else, so they make their own risk decisions. And they get paid handsomely for it. 9.5% handsome, to be precise. That rate is higher than my home equity loan! Really, someone should do something about this situation. Its unconscionable. And its surprising I could spell that word in one try.
But I did – would I lie to you? And while my luck hasn’t exactly turned, it has slowed its express train charge toward hell for the moment (I can tell because for the first time in recent memory my hiney is not actually on fire). I’ve never considered myself a particularly lucky or unlucky person, but having examined my most recent history, I’m going to have to guess that I’ve fallen into the category of the latter. Being the egghead that I am, once this occurred to me I just had to look it up: is unluckiness something a person can suffer from? Of course I suffer from unluckiness, but perhaps I’m a hypochondriac, fortune-wise. Perhaps luck is just luck, and some of us are just more aware of the unlucky moments and others are aware of the lucky ones. As it turns out, there is a researcher who has conducted extensive investigations into whether or not people are actually intrinsically fortunate or unfortunate. Prosaically, the researcher reports that luck is a manifestation of such characteristics as the ability to notice and act on chance opportunities, listening to gut feelings, being optimistic, and not dwelling on unfavorable outcomes. Blah, blah, blah. Lucky ducky.
While Professor Richard Wiseman states categorically that “people are not born lucky”, he doesn’t say that people aren’t born unlucky. Which he would, if he had a sneak peek into this life. He also reports that people whose surnames begin with letters from the front of the alphabet achieve more success and wealth in life than people from the latter part of the alphabet. Having done a statistical study of some gazillion dead people and their obituaries, he seems to know. The Adamses, Bakers and Dodsons of this world die richer and better known than the Wisemans, Zortmans and Youngs. He also found that people whose initials spell something positive like J.O.Y. or L.U.V. live longer than people with names whose initials spell something glum like D.I.E or P.I.G. (mine spell J.A.C.K., which explains why I don’t know him). There’s more to the Doctor’s studies, and you can read all about it on Quirkology.com, but for now I just wanted you to get a feel for the gravitas of this researcher. Since he hasn’t said that there aren’t intrinsically unlucky people, I’m going to stick with my assessment of my Irishness, and starting today, I’m implementing a policy of never getting out of bed on Friday the thirteenth ever again. Anybody who wants to join me only needs to submit a duckiness curriculum vitae. Heads you win, tails I lose.